Darn It…I’m Never Gonna Get to Rent a Car!

If the world really does end this year, there are so many things to consider. I’ll never get to rent a car; or even worse, a houseboat. I’ve only scratched the surface of my bucket list. All of Brangelina’s adoptions were pointless. Harold Camping is off the hook. And it’s going to be so terribly hot when we are all sucked into the sun.

You may think there’s no silver lining to an apocalyptic story line like this. I, however, beg to differ.

I’m going to use this for good. And I don’t mean frantically knocking out everything I’ve ever wanted to do, blowing my money on drinks and strippers in Vegas (okay, that’s my backup plan…you caught me), or trying to sweet talk every celebrity crush I’ve ever had into the sack.

What I’m talking about is taking the slim, doubtful, but entirely possible-until-proven-wrong theory that December 21st, 2012 is the Earth’s last day and using it as pure motivation. Has there ever been a better reason to really focus and accomplish a personal goal you’ve always striven for but hit the “snooze” button on multiple times than the daunting idea of the freakin’ WORLD ending??

Didn’t think so. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to cleverly attach a “this is my New Year’s Resolution” farce to my dealings and kick some novel-writing ass. I will write my first (and if the Mayans are correct, my last) novel in 2012.

I will stop making excuses like “writer’s block” (Which isn’t real by the way…that’s like an artist saying he or she ran out of paint. Go to Lowe’s and get some more damn paint. Similarly, writers, go to the coffee shop and put on some inspiring music, or drink a bottle of wine in front of the fireplace and just type. You know we love stuff like that. Wow that is a long, distracting interjection. I digress).

And most importantly, I will finally finish the product of what I know I’m meant to do with my life and leave that legacy for anyone who might survive the implosion of our planet.

Maybe my book will survive the apocalypse and be taught to the surviving school children on the space station orbiting Neptune. Maybe it will be remembered as the last great novel to be written before the Gods smite all of humanity. Maybe I should hop to and finish before December 21st. You know, just in case.

Maybe I should stop writing this blog since I really only started so I wouldn’t have to continue writing the aforementioned novel…

Damn I hope those Mayans are wrong.

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